


if i stop keeping a secret

by orphan_account



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: College, M/M, asexual!simon au, i'm an inclusionist and if you're not you won't like this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 11:59:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14831894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In which Simon comes out to Bram, but not in the way you'd think.





	if i stop keeping a secret

**Author's Note:**

> i think ace/aro inclusion is so important, and i never see ace characters in fic or otherwise, so here, have an asexual!simon au! happy pride month!
> 
> also: referenced in this fic is a novel called radio silence, which really exists and really is a great book. it's by alice oseman if you want to read it, which i highly recommend. 
> 
> title is from "keeping a secret" by bleachers

June first had been one of Simon's favorite days since he had realized he was gay. It was a day of celebration, a day of pride, second only to the Parade day, and Simon loved scrolling through social media and seeing his favorite social media influencers, brands, and even his friends posting about Pride. It was so heartwarming, seeing how many people really did care, and for a while, Simon could forget about the homophobes and the Tumblr discourse and just... be. He loved that.

It was Bram and Simon's second Pride Month as a couple, and their university's GSA had been putting together a group to march in Atlanta Pride. Bram and Simon were in from the beginning, and they had been planning their outfits since March. They'd bought Pride pins and tee shirts, and Bram had even relented and let Simon buy him a pair of rainbow booty shorts.

It was finally the first day of June, and after posting the obligatory kissing selfie adorned with #pride, the two boys had laid down in their dorm, hand in hand, and started to talk. Simon loved that about Bram- he could always count on Bram to have a deep talk when he needed it most. Bram was always, always happy to talk about gay shit, too.

"I think this Pride parade will be even more fun than last year," said Bram. "We don't have to worry about curfews and parents breathing down our backs... it'll just be us and hundreds of other gay people. And Sadie has so many fun things planned for after with the GSA, too!"

"I know, I'm so excited." Simon smiled. "I can't help but wonder that LGBTQ+ book club is going to end up with me actually reading."

Bram grinned. "I hope so! You should really read  _Radio Silence._  It's really good, and there's a bi character, some gay characters... I think there's like, two straight characters. And the plot. Oh my god."

Simon smiled at that. "I think bi exclusion is so shitty. Thank God there's authors who agree and who write bi characters, because bi people are valid."

"Yeah, biphobia and bi exclusion are the work of the devil," said Bram, stroking Simon's thimb. "It's so stupid. Like, if you're a boy who doesn't exclusively like girls, you are totally allowed to be LGBTQ+ if that label feels right. Same for bi girls or nonbinary people, and pansexual people."

Simon couldn't help but notice that Bram hadn't said anything about asexual and aromantic people, but he pushed that thought out of his head. See, Simon was extremely passionate about ace and aro issues and was a fierce inclusionist, because he had recently realized that he was asexual himself.

As for how he realized, it was all the little things- he had only ever really crushed on Bram, and even then, he was more attracted to him romantically than sexually. He liked kissing, but he'd never really enjoyed thinking about sex, and he was hesitant to let Bram do anything more than make out with him intensely. That, Simon thought, was his sex neutrality coming in.

Of course, Simon had originally thought his romantic attraction toward Bram was sexual attraction, but upon learning more about the ace community, Simon had realized that it was all more aesthetic and romantic, and that he didn't experience sexual attraction at all. He could appreciate Bram's body and enjoy kissing Bram, but he didn't particularly want to have Bram's body in his. It had been a major stressor for Simon, because Bram was definitely ready for sex, and though he respected Simon and didn't pressure him into anything, Simon knew Bram wanted to have sex with him.

"Isn't there a demisexual character in  _Radio Silence_ , too?" asked Simon. (He knew there was- he'd read the summary and Goodreads reviews many times, just hadn't gotten around to reading the book. This was more to test the waters so that he knew Bram's stance on ace people.)

"Oh, yeah, there is! I was super excited to see that. No one ever puts any ace or aro or a-spectum characters in their books."

Simon smiled, and some of the butterflies in his stomach died down. "Yeah, I know how you feel."

Bram turned his face to stare at the ceiling. "I also really hate the ace discourse on Tumblr. I'm an inclusionist, obviously. In my opinion, anyone who is not heterosexual, heteromantic and cisgender all at once has a spot in the community. Except pedophiles- they can kindly go rot in hell. And since asexual people aren't heterosexual, they're asexual, if they want to identify as queer or LGBTQ+, I say let them. Same goes for aromantic people."

Simon nodded. "Exactly my thoughts." This was a perfect oppurtunity to come out, Simon realized. He knew now that his boyfriend was an ace/aro inclusionist, and that was a huge boost to his confidence. His heart rate picked up, and his hands started to sweat, but Bram didn't seem to notice.

"Hey, Bram, I actually wanted to tell you something," Simon said.

Bram moved to face Simon. "What's up, babe? You can tell me anything."

Simon closed his eyes and squeezed his boyfriend's hand. "I... I think I might be asexual."

"Oh," said Bram. "Okay, babe. I love you, you know that? This doesn't change anything." He squeezed Simon's hand, and smiled at him. "And what are the details of your asexuality? Do you want sex? What are your limits? Romantic orientation? You know I'll respect you and not pressure you into anything, right?"

Simon let out the breath he was holding. "Uh. Well, I'm ace and homoromantic. I think I'm sex neutral, but also, I don't want that yet. Eventually I'll probably feel comfortable enough, but not yet. I hope that makes sense. Everything else we've done has been great, though. I will absolutely never get tired of kissing you, Abraham Greenfeld." He's quiet for a few seconds. Then, "Are you surprised?"

"I mean, yeah, I am," said Bram. "I'm surprised, but it makes sense. Like I told you over email, we're all like houses with vast rooms and tiny windows. And maybe it's a good thing, the way we never stop surprising each other. I'm not mad, or disappointed, and I won't ever stop loving you, Simon Irvin Spier." His expression melted into a soft smile, and Simon smiled too.

"I won't ever stop loving you either, Abraham Louis Greenfeld."

**Author's Note:**

> also published on ffn under the penname scripturience


End file.
